International Sangha News

Students Report From Around the World

Sangha member Natali Hromin of Croatia responds to VOCL’s invitation to students to share their experiences in relation to the question: Have you ever experienced someone’s death and dying in a way that was a real teacher for you, as a way to open the heart?

Hello, greetings from Croatia! First of all, I’d want to express my gratitude for Rinpoche's recordings being available online. Thank you very, very much.

I feel compelled to answer your question about experiencing someone's death. My father's death was an enormous, overwhelming experience for me. This is why I would like to share a little bit of it. It is not possible to express all the subtle parts with words only. But in short: I can say that now, I deeply understand an inner interconnectedness of all beings. I am convinced that I was actually sharing his own experiences and feelings while he was getting to the other side.

I have experienced his diving into the universe and enormous sadness so vividly and clearly as though it was my own. I realized that I am not sad just because my father passed away. That was also my father’s sadness, felt when he encountered vast regions of the universe that seemed almost hollow and empty, and endless, that seemed more a kind of remorse. He felt a deep regret for not understanding his real nature during his lifetime.

It was like he was going far, far away, or falling down long and deep. In my inner vision I could see and feel the stars and galaxies passing by.

He was an atheist and he did not believe in the afterlife and things like that. I feel deep in my heart that he felt awe and he was taken aback, so to speak. I was crying with him, not only for him.

In time these strong feelings and sense of traveling through the universe ceased. But after a month I knew that I would meet him in my dreams. He did appear as I expected. And he told me: "That wasn't me, you know. That wasn't me." I understood, instantly that he was referring to his inability to express his true nature during his lifetime.

Thank you for the opportunity to share this little part of my overwhelming experience with you.

Natali Hromin, Zagreb, Croatia

Editors’ note: Ligmincha’s annual Spring Retreat at Serenity Ridge, scheduled for April 13-17, 2011, will focus on issues related to death, dying, and joyful living. Find out more >

Photograph by M.E. McCourt