International Sangha Sharing

Poetry from the Heart

The poem below by Hira Hosen was inspired by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche’s online teachings. The mantra is that of Khandro Kyema Otso from the Bön Mother Tantra.

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

In this precious moment, I ask for your support.
I’m entering the roots of my pain without blame or self-pity.
Knowing all doors are wide open, I feel paralyzed, insecure and vulnerable. Unable to move freely, I feel like an outsider, excluded, alone, left out, shy and helpless like a small child.
Tormenting myself with ideas of not being good enough. Not being good. Not being enough. Not being good enough to be myself, accepted and included.
I am conditioning my true identity, taking pride in what I think I am. I’m believing I’m the center of it all.
I am compromising my truth and frequently repressing and criticizing my true feelings and emotions, like frustration, bitterness and confusion. 

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

I realize that fantasizing about past lives is just a distraction, not wanting to see the underlying karmic patterns deeply rooted in the journey of my eternal soul.
I am making constant comparisons, moving from superiority to inferiority to morality. I am frozen, rigid and nervous. Afraid of real encounters and exchange. Constantly needing to be in control.
I am locking myself up in a fortress of knowledge, holding tight to teachings, teachers, relationships, roles, identities, possessions and distractions. 
I’m a beggar for love, recognition and understanding, giving away my personal power, believing I’m a victim, and not taking responsibility for every detail of my life being my own creation.
I am clinging to an endless past of ancient blueprints that I’ve outgrown, clinging to a past which has never been mine to begin with.
I’m ignorant to the fact that I’m unborn, infinite and eternal.
I’m believing a childish dream in which a savior will come and save me, that a hero or heroine will save humanity, believing in the prophecies of reincarnating soulmates and twin-flames in equality.
I’m ignorant to the fact that I’m the creator of my reality.

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

I wish to be connected to the part of my soul which is beyond form and non-form. Pure and indestructible energy. Changeless. Pervasive equanimity. 
I wish to live the paradise of Now. The now-point of Power, radiance, confidence and delight. The sacred relationship within.

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

Finally, when I’m asking for help, it’s coming from a place of despair, dis-connection, anger, desire and ignorance. Deep feelings of pain and suffering. Creating more pain and suffering. 
I’m covering my wounds with a ruthless armor of metal to avoid being hurt even more. Thus frightening all those around me.
I’ve created a fixed idea of an identity of self with a strict boundary line around it, believing I’m separate from Source, that we’re being apart and divided. I’m fighting. I’m struggling. I’m attracting conflict.
This destructiveness, this overwhelming self-doubt makes me constantly go against my own truth. And when I do, I feel guilt, unworthiness and hopelessness.
This burden of achieving a goal, fulfilling mine and other people’s expectations to be someone else, striving for truth and ideals. All the systems of improvement and personal self-development I’ve found in the world, I keep feeling a sense of failure and sorrow.
I feel like I’m fake, that I’m living a lie, and to be honest, I can’t handle this physical, mental, emotional and spiritual exhaustion of my personality anymore, bringing stress and tension to the divine flow of being which is running through me.
I believe things will be better when. And then. I’ll be happy? This foolish and continuous postponement, the waiting and the indecisiveness give me a depressive feeling of inertia, dullness and incompletion. Feeling completely stuck. 
I am lazy. I believe in a final destination.
I am always giving with a hidden agenda, always asking something in return.
I am worried, anxious and ambitious. 
I’m denying that when we’re still living in duality, the dark and difficult are as much needed as the light and ease.

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

I’m ridiculously clinging to my oppressive mind. I have so many voices and split personalities living within me, that when I truly wish to say ‘yes,’ the ‘no’ is already there. 
I’m not owning my projections and visions. My mind is living my life in a small brain and a small head. It’s living in its own little world without real space to actually live in. 
I’m completely addicted, life-less, spinning stories, tripping, judging and weaving strategies in automatic mechanisms of arguments, reactions and opinions. 
I’m polluting my mouth and our atmosphere with useless speech, believing that politeness is more important than authenticity. I speak with toxic tongues of manipulation. 
My ego mind is never interested in the truth, neither in my authentic self. My mind isn’t interested in me, it’s not interested in anything or anyone other than its own illusionary existence.

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

I live in a co-created reality of parallel existence where politics, religion, civilization, culture and conditioning are dominating the weak via subtle ways of humiliation. When I was younger, I was often thinking of ways to end my life to make it stop.
I live in a co-created reality of parallel existence where humanity’s dignity has long been destroyed through the underlying demonic dynamics of the powers that were wearing innocent-looking masks and false faces. A world of deceitful hypocrisy and fake loyalty.
I live in a co-created reality of parallel existence where humanity has been taken advantage of by evil cultivation of tax systems, warfare, air/earth and water pollution, mass slavery media,numbing education, fear-producing terrorist technics, collective debt, financial ruin, and expensive, addictive and killing electricity, energy and health care. 

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

May I open the gateways of the magical realms of Creation!
May I courageously and continuously jump into the unknown of the unknowable!
May I enter that which I most long for!
May I fulfill this intense and devastating longing of my heart!

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

May I flow like sizzling lava, filled with genuine warmth, washing away all perception of self.
May the arrows of alertness hit me in my innermost being, breaking open spacious awareness.
May I be relentlessly stripped naked to the empty core of my being.
May the hot tears of my piercing wisdom eyes melt the freezing ice of humanity’s isolation.
May the radical beauty of the rising, inner sun of awareness cut through all roots of ignorance for all beings in all worlds.
May absolute dedication and commitment cease my small mind to exist.
May I be a Goddess of the night-sky, an immaculate container of awareness, holding and preserving all patterns of light, sound, color and sacred geometry.
May I fulfill my destiny in this instant and drive our divine planet Mother Earth into a higher vibrational signature, dimension and reality.
May I carry the energy of the future and live the embodiment of grace in cellular enlightenment.
May we find the Buddha-connection within and experience the peacefulness of complete freedom and spiritual liberation.
May we go beyond happiness and suffering for all beings in all worlds.
May we experience and share the glorious harmony of the purest pulse of Life.
May we realize all light-bodies now within our living breath, body, heart, flesh, blood and bones.
May we be grounded, rest and abide in the depth and zero-base-point of our innermost being. 
May we be the mysterious void, always perfectly birthing, sustaining and mirroring Creation.
May we be pure, un-manifest and infinite potential, existing before, during, after, and beyond Creation.
May we be expansive and clear guiding lights to all beings in all worlds.
May we experience and share the unchanging taste of silent joy and innocent trust.
May the insights of our opening inner being forever serve the unbounded and innate wisdom of our universe.
May we experience and share the tremendous self-less life-force of creative compassion.
May our true nature be celebrated in deep inspirational bliss and ravishing divine play.
May we instantly crystallize divine union in human form, without effort nor practice.
May we experience and share our human life exactly as it is, fearless and in total openness.
May I re-activate my liquid, turquoise diamond-light for all beings and all worlds.
May I tremble with supreme presence of emptiness.
Unwavering.
Unstoppable.
Unbroken.
Inseparable.
One.

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

In this precious moment, I ask for your support.
May I never lose connection for an instant.
Forever and beyond.

SO OM A HRI MA TI DAKINI HUNG PÉ

          – Hira Hosen, Egypt, 2019