Sangha Sharing

Retreatants Share Writings and Photos

Photograph of Serenity Ridge by Jitka Polanská

Who ever could have imagined me like this, prostrating before sacred images,
holding my hands in the gesture of a prayer?

And yet, now I know that I had been always looking for this, just for this.
Since ever, there was something inside looking at me through this stream of
consciousness,

something feeling imprisoned. Now, I am on the way to liberate this sacred, silent
presence.

These are my teachers, this is my home, this is the source which had always been
calling me.

Now I know. And so I prostrate and bow to the one who brought me back.

— Jitka Polanská

Virginia night sky

The night is so calm

with a sky pitch black

and a thousand of sizzling stars

The end & beginning of

every single possibility

 

— Poems and photographs by Floor van Orsouw

What ~not~ to say ... so precious! Rinpoche as usual addressed all of my potentially silly concerns without me ever having to ask out loud — making for an even stronger commitment to the Teachings and Practice. Between the Teaching itself, Rinpoche's sweet words of encouragement, and the related texts available, I now know better what to ~do~ with the new experiential glasses I find myself with. In addition to all of this is the precious Sangha; connecting in a way that is indescribable, like family, only closer.  I look forward to the transcript of this Winter's Retreat as well as the Root Texts and especially the day when registration for the next Winter Retreat is open.

— Gerry Heikes

A Leap of Trust

By Scott Clearwater, Jan. 19, 2011

I was asked to share this story about a recent event in my life that very well exemplifies the manifestation in real life of some of the precious teachings we have received.

The story takes place during an approximately one hour period during my recent honeymoon where we visited New Zealand. Shortly after arriving in Auckland we were walking around and saw the Sky Tower, the tallest building in the Southern Hemisphere. We noticed that there was a tourist attraction in which someone could jump off the building and fall over 600 feet (about 200 meters) at a speed of 60 mph (100kmh) before being slowed down by the steel cable which you were harnessed to. I always avoid these kinds of activities as being unnecessarily exposing oneself to danger and being mere thrill-seeking which I do not regard as productive in any way.

As we walked around the Sky Tower my new bride said to me “Why don’t you jump?” I immediately answered, “Sure!” And I really meant it. I really would jump and it took no effort and no decision was required. After I said it I reflected why Cristina would ask me to do such a thing after being married for a day. I knew that her intention was that I extend myself and use this activity to overcome limitations about the fear of trying new things.

In terms of my personal practice to deal with fear issues I have used all the practices of the Three Doors Seminars. I use the tsa lung, especially the pervasive lung exercise, to help me to pervade my life experiences farther and farther into the space of all possibilities. I use the Five Warrior Syllables, in particular the A to feel the fearlessness in space. I use the “vision is mind” and “mind is empty” from the Fivefold Teachings of Dawa Gyaltsen to know the source and emptiness of the fear that arises.

When I answered “Sure” to jumping off the tower I have no doubt that it came directly as a result of having done the Three Doors practices over the past years. To use the dzogchen metaphor my answer was “like a snowflake dissolving in the ocean” — there was no effort on my part and there was an effortless manifestation. The effortlessness reveals that it really was coming from my heart and not a conceptual creation.

To get back to the story, I was not sure whether Cristina really meant for me to jump or not but I was ready in any case. When she asked me again, “Are you really going to jump?” I knew she meant it and I paid the money, signed the waiver, and put on the jumping harness. Then I took a long elevator ride up to the jumping platform. When I got up there, there was another jumper and I watched her go through the procedure. All during this time I was very calm and not thinking about anything in particular but patiently waiting for my turn to jump. When it was my turn to take the jump I walked sure-footedly onto the platform and I was hooked to the cable that would eventually slow me down as I fell. Still I had no fear. As I walked out to the edge of the platform I looked out over the beautiful city of Auckland and enjoyed its beauty. Still no fear. Then I looked down.

I saw the tops of tall buildings below me and the small target area where I would land. That was when fear came. It was a feeling that turned into a thought. At that point a deeper part of my being recognized that if I followed that thought I would not jump. So I did not engage with that thought. Then another fearful thought came up. Again, I was able to let it melt by itself by not creating an ongoing story for it. Then another fearful thought. Again, I did not allow the sequel. At that point I knew that I would allow no fear to conquer me. Then I leapt off the tower without any fear.

This type of experience corresponds to the dzogchen metaphor of “the sun melting dew” — it took a little awareness to dissolve the fear. For me it was a perfect example of the power one experiences by not creating a supporting story for a thought that arises. It is the power for one to overcome anything because the fearful aspect has been rendered powerless itself.

As I hurtled down to the ground I felt a sense of trust and that I was to be fine with whatever happened. The feeling of trust just appeared without any effort on my part and was able to do so because there was no fear to occupy the space for the trust. I was able to enjoy and experience the moments as they were coming without any projection. As I got close to the ground the cable slowed me down and I landed safely.

After enjoying the safe landing the technician asked to see how steady my hand was and it was steady and she asked if I wanted to jump again. So I took another leap of faith, this time with my back facing the ground so I could not even see what lay below. So this was not simply a repetition of the previous jump but a slightly different version and as I leaned back to fall could not see the buildings below but I could not see anything which evoked a different kind of fear which again momentarily appeared and with even less effort was dissolved and I jumped again.

To me this event has been very valuable in that it gave me the direct experience of two very important dzogchen teachings. It was an opportunity to see how innate qualities appear by themselves when the obstacles to them have been removed. I have no doubt these experiences came about because of my practices of the Bon teachings of Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche. It also showed me that when qualities have ripened they can manifest very rapidly!

To see my leap of trust go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVDSWExLdKw